How did we get here? (Part 1)

This is not sustainable. I looked at the drive-thru line that was wrapping around all the way to the street. We were one of the few Starbucks stores in the area that was open during lockdown in March 2020, and we became more than a retail place. My role at our location was usually to take orders or hand out coffee. I'd check with regulars to see how they were faring amidst the changes. They'd ask me too. It was this weird pocket of time of care and evaluation.

I loved both of my jobs. I was working at Sbux and doing a residency at a non-profit. As difficult as customer service is, I genuinely loved my job, my customers (well...most of them) and the people I worked with. But something inside of me was exhausted.

I had decided to resign from the residency - this felt like the best way forward. Even though this appointment brought me so much joy, it was the least sustainable thing in my life. In order for me to have time to pursue something else, I needed to step away. I felt some stirrings around this in February of 2020, and lockdown felt like some kind of divine confirmation. The onset of the pandemic caused a lot of people to shift their priorities, and this is how mine shifted.

Even though I was still going to a physical workplace daily, I knew that I was going to have a lot of idle time, and I knew that I would not have time like this to think and re-evaluate ever again. So, I decided to start taking classes at the local community college online. I started taking psychology classes and art classes.

As I began studying psychology, I met some amazing professors. I fell in love with the field and became passionate about the neuroplasticity of the brain, and was especially interested in the way that trauma is stored in the brain differently than other "memories" (sometimes trauma might not be 'remembered', but it's still there). I also learned that there are many systemic issues in the psychology field that keep people from getting the help that they need long term. I knew that if I pursued this field, it's very likely that I would be angry most of the time. But I wanted to be part of the systemic change. I didn't want an MSW, and I knew I wanted to explore other modalities and certifications outside of an LPC or LCPC. I landed on a Masters Art and Expressive therapy. I found my dream grad program in Boston and started chipping away at prerequisites.

This meant that I also began taking art classes for my prereqs. I signed up for accelerated classes whenever I could, and by summer 2021, I only needed one more art class before beginning the application process for grad school! As I was debating what art class to take, I felt this inexplicable, deep yearning in my soul to take ceramics.

So I signed up.